i jhust puked up my retainher.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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