The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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