Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
