I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
