We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
