Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
