I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
It was confusing and full of hummus
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
