i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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