the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
