This house was built for laser tag.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
