I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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