Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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