Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
