And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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