One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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