had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
