TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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