The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
