At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
