I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Randomize
