I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
someone owes me an orgasm
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Randomize
