theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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