3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
