Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
