Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
