she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
