Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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