so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize