dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
