He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
