I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
third nipple confirmed
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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