ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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