also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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