It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
