I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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