Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
