kristin has been a bad kristin
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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