oh fat girl friday strikes again...
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
My feet surprised me
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
