Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
