Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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