The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
