I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
