idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Terrible idea I love it
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
