Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
