hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
