Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
