Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
