shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Everything about him screamed your future.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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