yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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