Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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