the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
The adults are the big ones right?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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